Friday, January 29, 2010

A few pictures and some reflections of being a stay at home dad.

As of lately I have been feeling more and more down about myself. I know it is my duty to make sure things are okay in my own brain, but it is hard when life has just kicked you and keeps kicking you. I have been unemployed for just about a year now, and it seems like no hope is in site. With Lindsie working during the days I am left with evenings and weekends where I am available for work. Those type of hours, I have found, are almost the hardest jobs to come by and when I do locate them they are very demanding for little pay, and they never get back to me. I miss being able to go into a job and feel like I am worth something and supporting my family.
As of now I am a Stay at Home Dad (and for the most part I love it. Owen makes things rad), but can this be called a job? We live in a society where it is okay to be a Mom that stays at home, but when you are a man people expect more from you. I take good care of my kid, playing, feeding, changing and teaching him through out the day. On top of that I make dinner and care for the house. I think that is a lot of noble work and makes for constantly busy days.
Well enough of my bellyaching, though being able to convey my feelings and express myself makes me feel a bit better. Let us humans look kindly on the Stay at Home Dads, as if they were equals to the Stay at Home Moms.

And now for the kid that makes me smile when I don't feel like it...

Owen loves being buried in his stuffed animals.
He is messy, but so darn cute!
How does the little piggy eat?
What a weirdo.


Z and R Fitz said...

Shawn...I don't know if you remember me...bookstore...anyways, I saw your blog on Steph's and so I thought I would check it out. I know it is rough to be home as a Dad...Zak has always gotten more down on himself in between jobs. It sounds like you do your best and that is what matters of a Mom or Dad. Owen is lucky to have you there taking care of him instead of a stranger!

Lindsay said...

i know how you feel shawn.. i don't know that it's any better for a SAHM. everybody talks to you like you have NO EDUCATION. it's so degrading. makes you feel like you AREN'T worth anything. but yeah... don't fret.. things will turn around.. may not happen soon.. but enjoy this time you have to be at home and maybe this is just God helping you understand what it's like for a mom so you can be the best understanding husband when the tides turn again. eh? love you sister. hah

Erica said...

I totally get it Shawn! Sometimes it can be hard being home without any adult interaction throughout the day no matter how awesome our kids are. I hopeyou find something soon.. BUt i am sure glad that Owen has you to be home with him. What a specail thing for both of you. Someday you and linz will switch spots and YOu and Owen will be so close!

Shawners said...

Thanks guys!

Fritz Ono said...

I'm glad that it was pointed out that stay at home moms actually are not any more respected than stay at home dads. In fact it is often said that in some cases sahds are praised because they are considered some kind of pioneer, while women who stay at home are considered outdated.

I wonder if those saying that a father becomes closer to his children by staying at home, also give the same advice to women? Do you advise women who work outside the home, that they should give up their careers and stay at home in order to be closer to their children? Here is how women have responded to that: its not the quantity of time with children that counts, but rather the quality ("quality time") of time; also they say that by working outside the home they are more fulfilled and therefore a better parent than they would be if they were at home and miserable.

Betty Friedan in her famous book "The Feminine Mystique" said that women who stayed at home were miserable, frustrated and unfulfilled. She did not say that it was okay because it made them closer to their children. She said children did not need mothers at home full time, and it would be better for everyone if instead mothers had jobs outside the home. Today most mothers do work outside the home, and it is generally considered essential for a woman to have her own career. Is it not equally true for men?